Been a While !
Its been a decade or so.
There is something that hasnt changed in me but for the careful eye you wouldnt know,

There has been seasons of delight,
A summer of love ,sunny and full of light.
A winter of gloom,cold and dreary  nights
A spring and the flower of hope did bloom
but then fall came by , sudden , towering and left me marooned.

(no subject)
In the far corners of my mind
I hear the sound of your voice
Revelling in it I find my peace
Bringing me back to life with a quickening ease

I don't know what exactly i have on my mind. Just felt like posting something, may be I will find what is going on in my head.It's strange how fleeting  any thought can be . This moment I was up in arms to face the world because I had ideas about living my life and the next moment I am not so sure if the fight I am preparing for is worth it's mettle.

I am up for a challenge which i don't know if I  can win .And the belief that yes I can is soon fading with time.I am not meticulous , have never worked hard , I have been strong but what I am looking to achieve requires a lot of hard work ,grit and determination . I do not know where I should begin to find these traits. Now I wonder if Socrates was right that knowledge is within us .Where should I begin .It appears to me life is easy for me and I am trying ways to make it difficult.

I have something rattling in my head these days .. the sound of my own voice .. I must do the right thing. It is easy for me to go on living the life I have ... go on working in a mundane 9-7 job 5 days a week and looking ahead for weekends and cribbing over Monday's and Monday blues. But it is difficult for me to accept this sort of life.

I must change and soon.

Resume - Reading
I have resumed reading in full swing.i may not find all my answers but i do get close to them .I discover my self in new ideas and thoughts and find myself establishing my way of Being .The way to be Alive,to be living is on constant Renovation . Enjoying to be the interior decorator of my life.

Weary and Scared
I don't know if I am just weary ..if  my mind is  playing tricks ??? but i do feel scared ?? like someone is trying to break in my house .But then I tell myself what am I  afraid of ?? to die ?? but one day i will die but still why am i scared ? But yes i am still scareddddddddd don't really know why.

Shadow Of Constant Refrain
While you take that road unknown
I`d like to so see you smile,
I'd like to be by your side,
I'd like to  walk hand in hand, to climb  
the highest cliff , to cross the deepest ridge
Each passing day I'd  like to see the sun fill you with new life ,
I'd like to see the  rainbow come with the promise of your dreams,
I'd like to see the sky cast with your hopes and your aspirations,
Id like to be in all that you wish ,in your dreams ,in your mares,in your joy and your pain.
I'd like to be your aura divine, your  joyous halo but In this moment  am just your shadow of constant refrain.

PS: you might  not know my words but you have my heart and you will know all that  goes in there. 

I am a Reader,
i cannot imagine a day without having read the " beautiful" , to me life enfolds in each word, with every phrase it seems as if it has the power to create ,create a world as is it is there up in your imagination ,and how you weave the world is magical an enigma .... it  is bewildering ,it is  enlightening  and thought provoking .Am I only a reader ..reading from the zillions of imaginative minds or do I have in me the mystic who knows not his path but guides his soul in his  journey of finding the Truth .
Where can I begin to experience the magic of life of the mystery of death ,in this moment i feel inspired by a vague unknown force but while i am with it at it i am unaware of most of what life as it is ? All i know is to FEEL. Feel for the living ,for the dead , for those whom i know , for those i have not met , its amazing I shutter between my past , present and  future like I have a time capsule and I have the control to seek the exact moment in time and space which I want to LIVE/RELIVE.
Life is beautiful because my glasses are tinted and I believe I am making my own life .. i wish some day i can reach to others ...touch their lives and lend them my shades :)

Writer's Block: Riddle me this
LIFE. life does not make any sense to me.Why are we here????? What am i supposed to do while i am here ???

It elludes.
What is something that just doesn't make sense to you?

Aware !!!
In this moment i am sipping white wine with plums, rare combination and i have nothing to do next couple of hours before i hit the bed,
and yet the feeling of boredom is miles away . I am not sure as to why ? Well i feel aware... awakened to some mysterious insight to the ways of life. It keeps me going even when the odds are high against me. I feel anxiety at the thought of what tomorrow holds ,there is momentary stress but it subsides like the washing of a tide on the sea shore ...what worse can happen when you think of that you can prevent that panic attack or an anxiety stroke.The worst is not as bad as is feared to be if you can imagine how it will be like you can over come the sinking feeling .you can find a plank . you can drop an anchor or even sail afar on distant land .Let yourself free and succumb to no fear because fear in it self has no power ,only not having the courage to face it takes us all down.

The Worst Is not as Bad so Fear not what is not .....

Writer's Block: Eraser dust
There is not one such thing in particular that i do not want in life because i am not sure what this life is all about.But if i had to erase or eradicate anything it would be poverty ,corruption ,pollution ,but then  again um not sure if there is a plan to have it here in the first place.If life is meant to be the way it is.May be it is right the way it is or may be it is not

gtg to be continued....
If you could delete one thing in life from ever existing what would it be, and why? (e.g., paper not being invented or the color ‘blue’)


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